There is high pressure we adopt from our upbringing to "figure it out" and "settle in" into a comfortable situation/lifestyle. Naturally our parents want us to be happy, and in their eagerness to prove themselves "good parents" or wanting to relief their own pressure of having to take care of us, they provide us with recipes to build a happy life. Get a boyfriend. Get married. Have kids. Get a good job. Make money. There are myths and myths about getting that done and living happily ever after.
In real life there are cases when it's a perfect fit, total mis-fit, and/or anywhere in-between. As we grow up and become our own caretakers, it's useful to take a closer look at what is there inside to take care of. Wanted or not, it's there, contributing to our feelings and actions, often though subconscious. It's not always comfortable, but healthy to shine conscious light into hidden subconscious drives and agendas. Doing just that helps create more harmony there in the shadows behind pains and hurts. The truth is - this process will continue until our deaths (don't know about the beyond), with some periods of times being more balanced and whole than others.