Intention, attention, dedication - the three practices of healing

Intention is a seed of change. It's born from an experience, that brought something new, something different into your awareness; something that you want now, since you got a taste of it, something that you consider to be good to have..

 The wanted thing is outside of your "normal" reach, it's a goal, it exists as a potential, in the future - a desired possibility that you do not have. Yet.

The intention you have. Intention can stand behind your actions; behind your thoughts (you can choose which thoughts to think, according to your intention), behind your words.

You act with intention, and then receive feedback. From the feedback you'll know if you are moving in the right direction according to your intention, or you are off track.

Off track - then you can try again, with the same intention. Look for choices. Choices of direction, actions, words... You might not have many, yet you can put your intention into your doings, and it will start clearing your path for you.

There is a saying "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions". Let that not make you loose your good intentions, when you'll find yourself at a dead end, in places or states unwanted, in Hell. Your good intention will help you develop qualities that you'll need to overcome the obstacle.

So, if you find yourself in hell - return to your intention, examine it, see if it is still good - and keep going.

PSYCHO-SOMATIC WORK
is the work on body tensions in conjunction with the unresolved feelings associated with those tension. We use muscle tension to suppress feelings when we don't have knowledge how, or time, or safe environment to process our emotional reactions in overwhelming situations. With time those tensions become a habitual pattern, a part of our identity, a "safe" known place where we can hide, where we can hold feelings we "don't like". The downside is that those hidden patterns of trauma show up again and again when triggered. The work I offer helps to uncover the unprocessed trauma and release the build-up around it gently and with presence. I use Rosen Method bodywork, which is light touch and stretching, and lots of listening with my hands. In the session, feelings, images, sensations arise into conscious awareness, and we process them through deep listening, guided visualization, conscious dreaming, feedback, etc.
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WAKING THE TIGER. HEALING TRAUMA. By Peter Levine

 I’m very enthusiastic about this book; I want everybody to read it to get educated about trauma inflicted blocks and processes, and how to deal with it on the personal level.

In this book Peter Levine describes mechanisms of forming a trauma, living with it, and discharging the energy of trauma.

Humans have 3 parts to their brain – reptilian (the oldest, holding the basic survival responses), limbic (mammal) and neocortex (capable of the rational thinking). In life threatening situations reptilian brain initiates the fight/flight response, flooding the organism with energy and excitement enough to run or fight for its life.  Human emotions corresponding with those states are fear (flight) and rage (fight).

If the power of the threat is greater than the power of the organism responding with fight/flight, then nature came up with the next level of protection – freeze response. Prey about to be seized by a predator “drops dead” ; either the predator will be confused and stop the chase, or the prey will not feel a thing while being killed – freeze response makes organism numb. Nature has mercy that way, allowing animals to die easily.

In nature, if the animal escapes death, it goes thru the process of discharging the powerful fight/flight or freeze energy by shaking, thrashing, moving the body (running). It then returns to a relaxed state, flowing easily from relaxation to alertness, orienting itself in the ever changing environment.

Not so with humans. While in danger, our reptilian brain has immediate power over our nervous system, bringing about fight/flight/freeze responses. But then, when we need to discharge that energy, neocortex kicks in discharge (now that the immediate danger is gone), with its need to find a rational, socially acceptable behavior. It has power to suppress the process of discharge, and then the energetic structure of freeze becomes a permanent fixture of human nervous system – a trauma.

Often trauma is reinforced by repetition of overpowering life threatening actions/circumstances, without escape rout and/or any support in dealing with it.

Traumatic freezing is a highly aroused/excited state of nervous system in conjunction with inability to feel, move or function adequately; it consumes energy otherwise used by the organism for orientation and learning.

When the freeze state unwinds naturally, the organism goes thru the process in reverse: the way out of freeze zone is thru the fight/flight zone, with its high excitement and emotions of fear and/or rage (anger).  Humans culturally conditioned to suppress strong feelings of fear and anger thru neocortex; they internalize those feelings, directing them often at themselves.

Symptoms of trauma:

Depression

Inability to feel

Avoidance behaviors

Hyper arousal

Constriction

Dissociation (including denial)

Feeling of helplessness

Hypervigilance

Hyperactivity

Exaggerated emotional and startle response

Abrupt mood swings – rage reactions, temper tantrums, shame

Reduced ability to deal with stress

Difficulty sleeping, nightmares

Panic attacks, anxiety, phobias

Mental ”blankness”  or “spacyness”

Extreme sensitivity to light or sounds

Attraction to danger

Frequent crying

Exaggerated or diminished sexual activity

Amnesia and forgetfulness

Inability to love, nurture or bond

Fear of dying or going crazy

Excessive shyness

Muted or diminished emotional responses

Inability to commit

Chronic fatigue, low energy

Immune system disorders, endocrine and psycho-somatic illnesses

Feelings of detachment, alienation, isolation – “living dead”

Diminished interest in life

Educating our rational brain about these processes is of tremendous value, because it shifts us from being a victim of overwhelming feelings and emotions, from thinking that something is deeply wrong with us, into a conscious participant /witness of a powerful natural process.

Recently a client while being on my massage table said: "I'm falling in love with your hands. You have a gift". But really what was happening - she was getting in touch with the aliveness and loveliness of being in the body. We are so accustomed to react to somebody outside ourselves, forgetting that the capacity to love is internal. Our senses are trained to pay attention to our external environment, so our thoughts are mostly about things external to ourselves; and that makes processing of our feelings and reactions more difficult.

The first rains are washing away the last days of summer, burying the seeds deeper into the ground. With the indigenous people celebrating Day of the Dead, we have an opportunity to honor our ancestors and all the "seeds" that went into making of our bodies, hearts and minds; to find gratitude for the continuity that sustains our lives; to meditate on the seeds that we carry inside ourselves, that'll come to fruition in the future.

AUTUMN

Autumn - the fruit bearing time.

Seeds go off the mother-plant, and into the ground - to be buried, to lay dormant, waiting for the call of spring… How do they know the spring will come? They don’t, yet that’s the only thing they “know” to do – to follow the design the seeds have no way of knowing about.

Humans are different – humans want to know. Humans get satisfaction knowing their efforts will bring fruit. Humans have difficulty letting go of the fruits of their efforts – they want to store it in a barn somewhere close by for the future use.  Humans want to know the future, want to be assured the spring will come and the seeds they’ve planted sprout into the beauty of the new life. Humans want to have the piece of that newness – that’s how we, humans, grow.

Autumn. The time of letting go, finding trust that your efforts are not futile - that the seeds you planted will grow in their own time, that when the new life that sprouts will be part of your life, enriching you in a new way…

The time of turning your awareness deeper inside, getting in touch with your core essence, that’s always there for you - your resource, from where you are sprouting, again and again, engaging with the world outside of you.

Healing is a task of a lifetime

There is a myth that I'll figure it all out and have a happy "thereafter"... As Abraham said, it's never done. Figuring out, and healing, likewise, are tasks of a lifetime. Death of the body is the only certainty at the end of it.